“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother,” said Abraham Lincoln. I feel that way about my mother and hope you have similar feelings about your mother or another special person who nurtured you as a child and inspired you as an adult.
My mom wanted to be a teacher, but didn’t think she could bear to be away from her family for weeks at a time in college. To go all the way from Paducah to Murray was “a far piece,” in her mind, when she graduated from Heath High School in 1941. Her life then was similar to that of The Waltons on TV, a large family living on a Southern farm during the 1930s Great Depression. No, she never earned teacher certification. However, she did fill many other important roles, maybe best summarized as a humorous personality, a gracious hostess, and a loving Christian who lived her faith.
Mama liked to have fun, had a great sense of humor, and loved to make people laugh! April Fool’s Day was a real holiday, in her estimation! Every year, she’d play a joke on the Rev. Paul Donner, our pastor for 35 years. Those pranks including lining up 20-30 six-ounce Coke bottles on his office window sill to make it seem like his love of that soft drink was even greater than it was. When she noticed a small bald spot on the back of his head, she gave him a miniature toupee.
She loved to kid my dad, too. Since he was quite proud of his German heritage, she’d say, “A mad German is a sauer kraut” and “You can always tell a German, but you can’t tell him much.” He would respond by saying that even though they both had all German ancestors, she was German “in name only.”
Mama was a gracious hostess, wanting her guests always to feel welcome. Therefore, virtually any visitor from out of town enjoyed a Starnes’ barbecued pork shoulder, baked beans, her German potato salad and pie, to her the best meal she could offer. It was delicious and she was a terrific cook! She would help “get up food,” as she called it, making a dish and phoning other ladies in her circle to do the same for church funerals.
She also extended her hospitality to children. “Her purse was never ending,” said cousin Beverly Kasten Erdman. “I remember when we would visit and she entertained or had something for all the children to do during church to keep them busy. I loved her so much! She was so much fun!”
That hospitality, coupled with her unique imagination, resulted in her telling my sister Laurel that we had a lollipop tree in the backyard. While her very young daughter napped, Mama taped several lollipops to the tree’s leaves. When Laurel awoke, she found that the tree had “bloomed” – what a happy memory for a child! With that mentality, it’s no wonder that our mom chose for her firstborn child the name of Joy!
Mama convinced us a cloth chicken she brought out at Easter could lay candy eggs! We all fell for that one! As an adult, my daughter named Laura (What else?) and I admitted to one another that we had believed that myth long after we should have known better!
She dressed as a witch for Halloween, giving out candy next to her dry ice-steaming cauldron. Kids loved it and people still tell me they remember visiting our house each Oct. 31st.
Mama contributed tremendous time and effort at church, was greatly involved in the women’s organizations and Bible studies, and taught Sunday School and Vacation Bible School. She honored shut-ins long after most people had forgotten them. She’d get my Aunt Ruth, who was her sister and best friend, and Pastor Donner and they’d visit Henry Kettler regularly at the nursing home. On his birthday, she’d bake him a cake, the highlight of his year, just one of many ways in which she lived her faith.
To conclude, my mother was a humorous personality, gracious hostess, and person of faith. Her unique style added so much to each role. Occasionally, she’d say that she regretted not becoming a teacher. However, for me, for my sisters and cousins, and for so many others she influenced, she was the best teacher a kid ever could have!
Question of the Week
How has someone in your life helped to shape who you are today?